102 Dalmatians
Honey, these pants are just offensive. I mean, Cruella Deville already hates the world enough as it is. We really wouldn’t want to give her, myself, or the general public a heart attack. So do me a favor and just hand those over to me so that I can burn them. They shouldn’t even be seen on the racks at the local Goodwill.
“Thong Song”
Dearest, are you mad? The thought of wearing thong flip flops in this weather is absolutely nutty! I mean, are your dogs not frozen by the cold?! And shorts to boot! We need an intervention, immediately. Not that the song itself was any good either but I am about to sing a song for you, and you wouldn’t want any further embarrassment.
“Tutti Frutti”
What is this monstrosity on your body darling?! I understand the cold and adoration of color by many, but this is just not on. Excuse me Trader Joe’s Deck-hand… Clean-up on Aisle 7!
“Queen of the Deck”
In accordance with the typical “Throw Back Thursday,” I must pay homage to this stylish gem I met last year at NYFW. A darling pastry chef from Chicago, she surely shuts it down with 100% confidence. Céline Phantom, Hèrmes large enamel cuff, cat-eye sunnies, and the clothing…I absolutely DIED! One look at her says everything I don’t need to say. She left me speechless and certainly gave me e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g!
Ladies (and gents who appreciate fashion), follow suit. No more Jokers in this crowd!
Miss H.A.M.
And a hot mess you are, m’dear! It’s quite comical really, to see you douse yourself in Aqua di Parma and push your little parrot around in that cart. I can’t even begin to fathom the thoughts in all the Saks associates heads when they see you, but it’s safe to assume they are far entertained by your…quirkiness. Work it out honey! You certainly made my day interesting.
Fur-mergency
“Wee-ohh, wee-ohh!” Crime? F-Uggz.
Darling, what ever came across your mind to wear these furry monsters? Although we are in the Fashion Capital of the world, this still does not warrant any ounce of leverage to wear such beasts. And forget the fact that these are faux because even the members of PETA are throwing a bitch fit!
Let’s call Snooki…I think she’s lost her boots.
This woman on the subway, weeks ago, was GIVING it with her accessories. #Chanel and #LV all day! (Why would she take the subway to the airport?) (Taken with Instagram)
“Wee Oh, Wee Oh!!!!”
“Summer lovin’, had me a blast. Summer lovin’, happened so fast.” And it was ripped at the seams!
Okay, so I can’t exactly say this has happened to me. However, I have been out with friends who have experienced the misfortune of their pants ripping (and let me tell you, it’s not only embarrassing for them but also for those present with them!). Obviously this is a big no-no, but I have to give you respect for working it out. You walked onto that subway train with no shame, showing your ‘tush’ to those ladies who wouldn’t stop laughing. But you’ve landed yourself a posting on my blog! Sorry….
The Fashion Police is not showing any mercy! Feels great to be doing it all over again. ;)
“Yee-haw”
“Can I get a soo-wee?” Can I get a yee-haw?!” This is certainly a throwback to those nights at the Round-Up Saloon in Dallas, Texas with those lovely gay cowboys and their line dancing glory.
You two cowboys are quite the attraction in this area of town. It’s not every day of the week that you see a pair of cowboys walking down 9th Avenue! Did you park your horses in the garage? Haha. Well as far as I know, those boots are made for walkin’!